Kachasu

I think this is a great idea, given a few provisios…

First, we have way too many young criminals. Young men, generally with raging hormones, few prospects and a hunger for what they can’t get legitimately.

In the UK and USA joining the army means you can trade service time for a college or university degree. Get great training if you don’t go that far, and in SA probably never see active service. Big bonus.

If the army is run properly it also fosters a general feeling of patriotism and caring for the country we all live in. Respect. Of which these kids have none. People who feel positive about their country or their future do not do what these kids do.

I think that every 18 year old without a job or an education in progress should join the army, if it functions properly. That of course is the difference. In the UK there is no conscription but many young men, and women, join because of the skills they can gain in the army.

I don’t know what it is like in the South African Armed Forces today, but this could be a really good idea.

http://www.news24.com/News24/South_Africa/News/0,9294,2-7-1442_2061416,00.html

Anyone dares tell me my disregard and total disrespect for Zuma are racist and there will be war.

I know many educated and established darkies who also tell me they will be on the first plane to the soggy island (england) or somewhere a lot worse (like Australia) if Zuma makes it into power.

At worst the man is a criminal: A tsotsi of the first order. At worst: a man as stupid as pig vomit who can’t keep his dick in his trousers and thinks a shower will stop him getting AIDS. Yet there he is on this list of trusted and respected people. Dirtying up the names of people like Madiba, Tito, Helen Susman and Trevor Manuel.

Are the majority of South Africans so stupid and sheep-like that they think if someone is in the newspapers they should be trusted? Please, God, no. All politicians are pond scum and deserve to be treated with both fear and loathing. Tell you what… let’s all trust George Bush.

If that cesspool of a man makes it in politics in this country, then I am sad to say that the country deserves him. I, for one, would rather move back to Zimbabwe. Zim is near the end of its maniacal dictator crap. Mozambique is well past it so that is a great option. Besides, all the crims from Zim and Moz are now residing in Hillbrow and Yeoville. With Zuma and his cronies, SA would just be heading into it.

My maid must chenjera! Seriously, she is in grave peril. I got home on Friday to find all my ashtrays on the verandah and not in my bedroom and study, which are the two smoking rooms in the house.

I don’t smoke near my children and the house is big enough that they don’t even notice when I have my morning fag.

It would seem though, that dear Gertrude has been reading the papers and has decided she can no longer face the health risk of being exposed to smoke clinging to linen etc. FOR FUCK SAKE!

I know several people who grew up when everyone smoked. One woman has a photo of her mother changing her nappy with fag dangling out of her mouth. This woman is fine.

Has the world gone mad? Arrest public drinkers. They are revolting.

Besides, my maid is a Zimbo and if she doesn’t want to be deported back over the crocodile infested river she best change her attitude quick quick.

In my job there are times when I get to meet and hang with some really cool and famous-semi-famous people. From an entertainment perspective this has included over the past two years Will Smith,Paroltones, Arno, miscellanous TV schlebs and Oprah. Plus the now infamous (in certain circles) moment during which my colleagues tell me I practically threw my squirrel covers at Mandoza when he offered me a lift in his spider.

The only thing that deterred me (the man is just sex on legs) was the whisky bottle between his legs and the copious empties in the back.

Plus I hear his wife beats other women to a pulp if she catches you even looking at him… There was also the clear look of a man on his way to his dealer… Hmm – so it rapidly looked like a deperately bad idea and I didn’t do it.

Anyway, I met two guys yesterday from Gang of Instrumentals. They need to be watched – but in a good way.

Slick, the music is great and the guy who leads the band is something of a polyglot. He writes screenplays (including City Ses La) and movies and acts and, well.. you name it the guy does it. Drop dead sexy look and feel to the whole thing.

They are not like Mandoza, because they sing in English and that means they can go further than South Africa.

My plan is to get one of my clients to give them lots of money in exchange for some marketing stuff. Really – if you haven’t heard these guys on 5fm, make an effort.

My credentials to speak about this? Born Zimbo, was a journalist and editor there for seven before moving to SA and working for the ANC for a while. I was knee-deep in politics and several of the black journalists I worked alongside are dead, although not always as a direct result of torture. A few of the whitie journos I worked alongside or with in that time have had to leave Zim.

Anyway. Zimbabwe never had apartheid. We never had Affirmative Action. I felt pretty much no racial tension there my entire life. Things got uncomfortable at times, yes, and I have had the army stick guns in my car window and tell me to move along (we had stopped for a cigarette after school on a road near Mugabe’s residence). I hung out in clubs and townships without even thinking about it, despite my supposedly priviliged white background. But not racism. Everyone muddled along.

What has happened in Zimbabwe has fuck all to do with race and everything to do with a power mad lunatic and his cronies. He chooses to blame whites still (27 years later and with less than 30000 whites in the country) but, hey, whities are the whipping boy of Africa.

Zimbabwe is a sordid tale of greed and violence, but it is not race-based. And Rory, I am sorry you got hurt. You don’t say where in Zim you were, but the early 80s were pretty scary in Matabeleland.

Up until the mid-90s if there was crime it was non-violent and if it was violent it was not crime – it was politics. The same is true today. My dad still lives up there and a few people from my past and they don’t feel fearful for their lives. Their money being taken is another thing entirely. But they still walk the streets at night and go camping and all that stuff with a whole lot less fear than we do in South Africa.

It burns my arse that South Africans think Zim was just a smaller version of SA. It was not. It is not.

I joined the SciFi association of South Africa because I write short stories and I wanted to enter some of their fiction competitions. I do this a lot with various entities. Anyway, these people seem quite odd. They have trekkie evenings etc. Today in my Inbox appears this:

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January Discussion Evening Thursday 25th at 7.00 sharp
**********************************************
This month’s discussion evening will be held at the home of Liz X, (I deleted this bit, cos maybe some of you reading this are mad axe-weilding homicidal maniacs). The starting topic will be: ” The Pyramids are really a satellite positioning system for an Alien civilization” All are welcome. Please bring along some snacks. Tea and coffee will be served

****

Are they for real? All that Chariots of the Gods stuff was totally debunked (as fraud actually)… I think I might go along just to see if they are taking the piss or not. I mean, surely, this is fringe weirdness?

I am a big fan of science and of sci-fi, but there is a sensible aspect to it. TREKKIES?? Some of the best fiction ever has been sci-fi. But what they seem to do is science fantasy.

Anyway, the most exercise I seem to be getting lately is jumping to conclusions, so maybe I will trundle along and see what it is about. If they are odd Klingon-costume wearing nuts I will be off like a bride’s nightie. But maybe this is just tongue in cheek? I know some of the members and they seem like cool people. Not really deluded, mad conspiracy theory wackos.

Will keep you posted.

There is an article on IOL that claims only women with zero pubic hair or one of those ghastly Brazilian things are sexually open. This can only be written by a man (and let’s see one of them get their nuts waxed). Whilst nobody really wants to look like a genital yeti, from my perspective whether I have gathered the energy to remove pubic hair or not makes zero difference to my sexuality.

I suspect it’s the other way around. If you need to be that uptight about something that is not on public show (or maybe it is depending on your job) you have sexual issues.

As a sample of one, there is pretty much nothing I am not prepared to do sexually, with the exceptions of:
‘¢ Animals
‘¢ Children
‘¢ Urination/defecation
Oh ya, and dead people.

I suspect it’s a bit like women generally if you are forever sticking your finger down your throat to look slim, you are not exactly a relaxed and open person. Also, women who spend hours with make-up, salons, facials etc are so caught up in themselves they forget to be themselves. I do all the above, but it’s far from excessive. I just need to look good and don’t have the time to arse about myself doing it every day. Or the inclination. I never learnt that girly stuff as a youngster. In my teens, kohl and “backbrushing” were all that mattered. Oh, and black. Lots of black.

I am not for one second saying we should all grow a forest down there, but come on! As long as it’s in a good enough state for the man in my life to go down on without getting lost, all is well.

However, given that I am just a sample of one anyone else’s feelings? Experience?

I have a pimple on my chin that is threatening to turn into a second head. Sodding game I play when I am doing nothing has a suddenly scratched CD and freezes just when I am about to seize all the enemy buildings. My back hurts. I want to be doing something better than sitting here after I told minions they can go home when there was no power. I have nobody to play with. Bored. Border. Bordest.

Replies are all mumbo jumbo spam stuff. Not that I just have a difference of opinion

Warning: Sexually explicit material.

This made me giggle.